January 2010
7 posts
Real life isn't like college??
fmylife:
Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML
I have an anger problem, and it's hurting my...
fmylife:
Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
I hit my head with a hard object, and it hurt??
fmylife:
Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn’t break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn’t, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML
Elevators can stop at any floor??
fmylife:
Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML
I got drunk, and then made poor decisions??
fmylife:
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
I put weights on my feet, and then had trouble...
fmylife:
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn’t take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
I mocked someone, and then experienced...
fmylife:
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you’d better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML